Chubby Evolution on the Move

For now, this is my last chubbyevolution.com blog post.  I am not quitting my journey, I am just packing up and moving to Facebook and Instagram for now.  Chubbyevolution.com and all the posts will still be here, but all new content will be at the Chubby Evolution Facebook Page and @chubbyevolution on Instagram.  I would love to have you join the communities there!

cardboard We're Moving sign with black letters

I want to create a Chubby Evolution community of people who come together to share their journey while I am still at the beginning of my own.  I am spread out over too many platforms and it is starting to distract from the time I spend in other parts of my life.

So, for now, it is time to say goodbye to the blog – but not goodbye to writing about my journey.  You will still see blog style posts on my Facebook page.  So like and follow me on Facebook and Instagram and we can still continue to build this community!

With love and gratitude,

Lisa

Points Snob

My husband laughed at me last week and strongly encouraged me to post about our conversation.  So here goes…

Chicken-Enchilada-Casserole-12-with-text

Not a picture of the casserole in question.  I’m sure this one was delicious.

I made a new recipe: a chicken enchilada casserole.  If you stick around long enough, you will realize I am a lover of all things casserole!  But this one wasn’t good.  It was bland and I didn’t like the way I cooked/diced the chicken.  I may have left out the onion because I forgot to buy one (but don’t tell my husband).  Anyway, there was no way I was interested in having the leftovers until I added some chopped green chilis and salsa and added some flavor (and I was waiting until the next day to go to the store to get some).  

He volunteered to eat it so it “wouldn’t go to waste.”  I said I didn’t care if it did go to waste, I didn’t like it.  And then we discussed the differences in our childhood homes regarding eating food so it wouldn’t be wasted.  I said that no matter what happened in our childhood homes, I am an adult now and I don’t have a big problem with wasting food.  

After a little more discussion, he asked me if we were eating the leftovers for dinner and I responded emphatically, “fuck no, if it doesn’t taste delicious, I’m not spending points on it.”  First of all, I know I need to clean up my language.  Second, he laughed at me and said I needed to post my quote.  He reminded me what a big deal it was that I was being discerning and changing the choices I was making related to food.

Who do you have in your life that helps you realize little discoveries about your journey daily?  What food have you said “f*ck no” to lately because it just wasn’t worth it?

I hate chairs… I think

airline seats

Fat people have a love/hate relationship with chairs.  At least I have over the years.  I love to sit down in them and often I have needed to.  I hate worrying about them.  These are all of the things I have been known to worry about related to chairs:

  1. Will it hold me? Flimsy folding chairs are the devil.
  2. Will I fit between the arms?
  3. My husband needs to hold the drinks at the movies until I sit in the chair at the movies so I don’t smash the sodas.  And even then, will I sit comfortably?
  4. I need an aisle seat in any auditorium so only one person has to share the space that should be their seat with me.  
  5. Oh, and will I fit in the seat in the auditorium?  I almost didn’t at my sister-in-law’s wedding.  
  6. I have to buy two tickets to travel on an airplane.  And once, I had to be concerned that when they were moving the seat assignments that me and my ass wouldn’t be seated together.  

You ask me why I am on on this journey?  Because someday, I will be able to look at a chair or seat and think “oh, look, a place to sit.”

What is the nemesis you are trying to overcome on your journey?

Magna Cum Boring

I have sat through no less that 20 commencement addresses in my adult life.  As a Community College staff member, I attend our graduation ceremony every year.  And every year I wonder if it will be something memorable to thrill and inspire, and nearly every year I am disappointed.  If you are reading this and have given a commencement address I have endured, sorry.  But, you could have been one of the ones I remember!  I just don’t want to single anyone out by saying so…

035-annual-commencement-full

Anyway, there is a point is saying this. I have always sat in those seats and thought that I wanted to be the one up there giving the commencement address.  I work with these students day in and day out and I see a small part of the struggle they overcome to earn the right to sit in those seats and endure that address.  I want to motivate and inspire them.  I want to congratulate and encourage them.  I want to look out into the audience and say to their friends and family members that I know “someone in this auditorium wants to be sitting in these seats as a graduate and YOU CAN DO IT.”  All of the graduates have proven that if you want a goal badly enough, you can make the sacrifices to get there.

But then on the way home this year, I realized, that other than work at the the college for 17 years, I haven’t done anything worthy of delivering a commencement address.  Who I am I?  What have I done?  How can I inspire someone?

I have had this same thought many times as I encourage students to overcome their obstacles and reach their goals.  I then realize what a hypocrite I am.  I have this weight struggle that I have been dealing with across the desk from them for years and have not, up until this point, made the sacrifice, set the goals, and had the determination to stick with it to get this weight off.    

So I have decided that I will someday be worthy of the invitation to give a commencement address.  I will have a before and after of at least 200 pounds difference to show that setting goals, finding your why, and building your support team can help you accomplish anything you set your mind to.

If you are reading this and are on the graduation committee, I will be looking forward to my invitation to speak in 2020!  

What dreams are you working to make come true?

I am Wonder Woman!

How does a 284 pound woman walk 6 miles on a Saturday morning in June?  One. step. at. a. time.  My plan when I went to bed last night was to try 5 miles today.  But I woke up and wondered if I could walk a 10K (6.2 miles).  I decided I would, and that is where the adventure began.  Like Mel Robbins says in many of her talks, if you could amplify my thoughts for the rest of the world to hear, I would not be allowed to walk around unsupervised.  If you are not one of the 9.4 million views on her Ted Talk linked above, take some time today to listen!

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Why yes, I was rocking some bright blue compression socks.  Thanks for asking!   They are pretty awesome!

 

I want to do this blog post to let you know that the end result of what you see people do is not the whole story.  Six miles may not be a big deal to some people reading this and to others it might seem impossible.  For me, it is a big deal.  Four months ago, I was 51 pounds heavier, and completely sedentary.  I could probably walk two miles under duress and could knock out a 5K if given enough time.  But it certainly wasn’t part of my routine to exercise.  My sister and cousin were running a marathon and I was going with them to walk a 5K in March, so I started walking more and have built up to walking more regularly now.  My friend challenged me to join a virtual event to do 200 miles in 100 days this summer.  It is keeping me on my toes!

So anyway, back to today’s walk.  I like to listen to audiobooks when I walk.  Today I pulled up some YouTube videos by Mel Robbins to listen to.  It is a great way to stay motivated.  I was listening to her talk about how we never feel like doing difficult things in our life, so if we wait until we feel like doing something, we won’t.  Her advice is that if you have a thought or idea, move on it within 5 seconds or your brain will stop you – especially if it is out of your normal realm of behavior/action.

I had multiple times during my walk when I wanted to just turn back and call it a day.  It was hot, I ended up with some blisters, the sun was beating down on me.  I had to remind myself multiple times that taking a 6 mile walk was just a series of taking one step at a time.  And that is what I focused on – the next step I had to take. And every time the lady on the RunKeeper app would announce that I had completed the next .5 mile increment, I would glance over my shoulder to make sure no children were in the area and mutter “fuck, yeah!” or “your’re a badass” or both!  

I had a couple of encounters during my walk that made me smile.  One was a lady who was walking in the same park I was and was walking toward me.  We shared some encouraging words with one another.  The other was a very sweet lady when I was at about mile 5.5 who was also walking in the park.  She stopped me and asked me if I needed some water because my face was so flushed.  I assured her I was almost home and thanked her for her offer.  You know you are reaching for the stars when even an innocent bystander wonders if you are about to keel over.  If that lady ends up reading this, thanks so much for asking.  I know when I about fell over when we stopped to chat, I wasn’t super convincing, but I did make it home just fine.

Do I have plans to do 6 miles any time in the near future?  No.  Did I enjoy it?  Not really.  Am I glad I did it and really proud of myself? Absolutely!  

What will you challenge yourself with this week?  What will you stop talking yourself out of doing?  Go after it! You CAN DO IT!

The Gift, A F*CK, and Me

“Once you get ‘it’, you have to give it away to keep it.  It’s a gift” – FatDag’s friend regarding recovery from addiction (posted on WW Connect).

I have been listening to so many books lately to feed my my mind and keep me motivated and everything seems to fall into place and I find what I need when I need it.  I started a couple of weeks ago with a book called “The Life Changing Magic of not giving a Fuck” by Sarah Knight,  Wow oh wow was there freedom in that book for me.  Finally permission to stop giving a fuck about every little thing.  I have been slowly removing guilt from my life and this book was the swift kick in the ass that I needed.  I realized that like Sarah says, I really do have a Fuck Budget and I can only give so many fucks and then I am all out, so I have to choose what I spend them on.  This book is one I highly recommend.  She discusses how not to be an asshole while being direct about what you will no longer be giving your fucks to.  

The life changing magic of not giving a fuck

I followed up with her book called “Get your Shit Together.”  It is quite a nice sequel to the first and also was exactly what I needed.  While I haven’t done all the exercises in this book, it inspired me to tackle the mess that is our family financial situation. Apparently if you avoid looking at the checking account regularly, it doesn’t magically grow.  Who knew?

And now, I discovered Mel Robbins on YouTube and just started her book “Stop Saying You’re Fine” and while I am not far into it, it has begun to inspire me to start making some of my dreams a reality.  

My dream is to have weight loss success, and someday help people who have struggled with their weight all their lives like I have.  I want to encourage and inspire them.  I want them to realize, like I have started to, that it isn’t just about getting the weight off. It is about gaining the mental and physical freedom that comes with not being weighed down by the pounds, the guilt, and the disappointment that comes with a lifetime of failed attempts at weight loss.  There is freedom on the other side and I want people to experience that.  

I was starting to doubt my dream and wonder in the sea of voices discussing weight loss how I could be unique or different or even add anything to the conversation.  But I have decided after the FatDag quote above that I am not going to worry about any of that.  I have been given a gift and if I don’t give it away, I will lose it.  

I am committing to waking up everyday and finding a way to give that gift away.

What gift have you been given?  What dream have you been sitting on?  What are you allowing fear to stop you from doing?

I feed myself.

“When you are out of points, stop eating points.” – FatDag

Fat Dag Points Pic

Image from FatDag’s Facebook Page.  If you aren’t following him, do!  If you haven’t downloaded his podcast app, go do it now and then come back to finish this post!  Whys Advice App 

My favorite podcast right now is Whys Advice by FatDag.  Mke, who uses the online name FatDag has lost 91 pounds on Weight Watchers and is sharing his message of encouragement and tough love on Weight Watchers Connect, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter @fatdag.  His website is FatDag.com   He is part of my daily diet of motivation an inspiration!

This quote perfectly summarizes my strategy right now for my approach to eating.  I have chosen Weight Watchers as my weight loss program.  The plan for eating involves a finite number of points each day and a batch of weekly points as well.  And because I have committed to this program, I have committed to stop eating points when I am out of points.

So many times, I hear fellow meeting attendees and friends on connect who blow through their dailies, weeklies, and even the points they have earned for fitness and still keep eating.  And I refuse to judge these individuals.  Everyone is on their own journey and the only thing that anyone can ask of themselves is their best, and if that day in those circumstances eating over the points is their best – I will be the first one to give them a hug and a high five and remind them we are in this journey together and I am here to cheer them on!

But I need to explore this for myself too.  So far, on this particular leg of my journey, I have stuck very closely to my points and have not ever gone into the negative on my weekly points (eating weeklies is encouraged).  I have eaten within my “blue dot range” (the blue dot range is a spread of 10 points 7over/3under your target for the day and is called the Healthy Eating Range) for over two months straight and have no plans for stopping.  My goal is to eat in this range EVERY DAY for one year.  There is nothing but me that can stop me.  No one puts food in my mouth but me.  

But it hasn’t been easy.  There are times when all I want to do is eat the things I was eating before and lots of it.  But now that I have been outlining and writing down the reasons I want to be successful on this journey and those reasons outweigh any desire to eat over my points.  

This whole eating in points range has required having a plan and sticking to it.  My biggest struggle is during social situations.  I now know what I am going to do in social situations, and I prepare myself mentally.  I always have a low points sweet snack in my bag for social events where there are s’mores or cake or donuts.  And I have changed my focus in those situations – I have a (non-alcoholic) drink in my hands and I remember that the reason we are getting together is because of the people, not the food.  No matter if it is a group of family, friends, or colleagues, I am intentionally turning my focus to the people and the relationships and the interactions.  A diet drink gives my hands and mouth something to do and I can enjoy those I am with.  As an introvert, this is sometimes a stretch, but I leave these events (that seem to happen all the time) with a sense of accomplishment and peace.

What are your social event strategies?  What happens when you are out of points, calories, carbs, or macros (whatever your plan of eating happens to be)?